Express yourself :)

For many long-winded reasons, now i am in New Zealand. By having conversation with people from many different countries in the world, i try to pinpoint the shortcomings in my English capacity. My English can help me get by with reading, watching movies (would be perfect with subtitles) and expressing myself in simple daily life situation. However, i feel lost so many times involving something deeper or more technical. 

It is not just about the language, it is the cultural and educational background that are so different between me and another that makes it hard for me to be a part of their conversations. It's also about the way people react to things or the way they show their exclamation. People i know from English speaking countries, they seem to be very responsive towards stuffs such as some certain sensational scenes in a movie, a certain kind of music (they start to move their bodies), food (facial express, exclamation)... For me, all those things are new. I often watch movies silently, listen to music quietly, eating without showing much emotion at all. Am I leading my life in a very robotic and stoic way? Or it is just because i am not hanging around with people enough to exchange such motions? 

Well, i think their ways seem a little bit more fun. It covers all the awkward silence and people can get along more easily and less painfully. However, sometimes people don't care much about what you say. I can see sometimes other people often response to others' reponses in a very robotic way. But then, i guess the self-expression for those people are not to get agreement from others but just for their own's sake. I think it's great to express yourself and then people can know you. That's the main point. That's how people build their relationship in life then. From little small things in everyday life. 

About technical thing, i was with a friend and my friend's friends are fixing a bicycle's tube. I was definitely lost not knowing the exact names and stuffs about that one bicycle. Then i asked them about these names but then the conversation started to go in a little bit more detail about bicycle as well so i continued to be clueless somehow. However, i see that not everybody know these things so i do not worry about this much. But i think i definitely need some hobbies, that is what i really need. 

Though my vocabulary works alright but only when i read or write. When speaking, i am struggling to pronounce things properly and to find the appropriate words. I find hard to pronounce the "r" sound and word with multiple consonants such as "scrubs", "graduate", "thrust", "plain"... I guess a little bit practice everyday would help. 

After all, to improve my English , i have to engage in more conversation with people. One thing about me is that i often feel shy and self-conscious. Well, remember, just express yourself. That's how you make friends and stir emotion inside others, it can be positive or negative but at least, people know you exist. :D